Andy vs. Bigfoot!!!
This match goes to the unbelievable! Whoohoo! I wish I could wrestle down
one of them hairy beasts! Thanks Irwin, we'll take it from here. Now this
is an unlikely event, but if it was caught on video, it would only verify that
Bigfoot exists! So on this assignment, we send Andy out into the woods
to pick berries, not knowing we put a bigfoot in his path. To make sure the fighting
stays intense, Andy must bring us back the berries in order to win 1 million dollars!
So let's check out what would happen!
Standing at 8-9 feet tall, Bigfoot is one hairy beast. Not knowing much of
bigfoot's natural biology since no one has ever caught one, we can only assume that
bigfoot likes berries since they look too dumb and slow to actually kill
anything. Besides, gorillas are plant-eating animals are they are huge.
So with that, we assume that bigfoot would be very aggressive fighting for
his berries in the woods. Now lumbering at that height, we can only assume that
bigfoot might weigh in at 400-500 lbs. or so. This would give Andy the speed advantage.
Andy's best chances would to be weave and duck, just like a featherweight boxer
fighting the heavyweight champ. Although Andy would only get punches to the bigfoots
chest, Andy could throw ten punches for every swing Bigfoot would fire at Andy.
If Andy found a tree stump or large boulder, he might be able to jump on the back
of Bigfoot and try to choke it to death. The only problem is Bigfoot's neck
would be too thick for Andy to do much. In the end, all it would take is one bonk
on the head from Bigfoot's fist to Andy's head and Andy would be out cold.
Sorry Andy, the berries stay with bigfoot.
So the winner is...Bigfoot!!!